Obviously, giving advice is one of the simplest things. Well at least to me. Especially when it comes to giving advice to myself. The only problem is that following advice can be really hard, because things are easier said than done.
However, these are 5 pieces of advice I wish I could follow:
1. Stop comparing myself to other people. Whether it’s looks, skills, or just life in general, I always compare myself to other people. Especially to those I envy. Even though I know it’s not going to get me anywhere, because I’m never going to be them. I will always be myself, and there will always be people who are prettier, more successful, get more money or better grades, etc. I’m never going to get their looks or their skills or their life and I should just accept that and work towards being the best I can possibly be. Instead, I often keep focussing on how far others have come already or what their great qualities are and how I am lacking those. It usually ends with me being miserable and depressed.
2. Stop caring about what other people think of me. That’s like the #1 thing that is always being discussed and people keep telling you “Oh don’t care about what they say” or “Just ignore them” and all that blahblah. Well it’s not that easy, obviously. Because we are actually made to seek acceptance, apprecation and respect in that group of people we are associating with. (If you think back: In the human species’ early times, it was important to be part of a group in order to survive.) So actually, we can never really stop caring about other people’s opinions. The only thing we can do is tell ourselves that there are people who accept, appreciate and respect us and we don’t need those who don’t. And that’ “all” you really have to do, but that can be very hard. Especially if you don’t have that large circle of friends (like me).
3. Start to actually stand up for myself. As you probably already have been guessing, I’m not that kind of outspoken, confident person. Therefore, I also don’t stand up for myself, or defeat my beliefs or speak louder when someone’s getting on my nerves. Usually I just sit there and have others discussing what I also find interesting. And I don’t even know why I don’t stand up for myself, because it’s not like I don’t have pride or anything and just let everyone mess with me or whatever. It’s not like I don’t have any arguments for my beliefs, but during an argument or discussion, I often can’t think of any. And later, when I’ve calmed down and went through what happened in my head, I suddenly know what I should’ve said.
4. Get confidence and become “bestfriends with myself”. I have struggled and still am struggling a lot with self-hate and all that kind of stuff. You know, that voice in your head that always tells you that “You’re fat/ugly/unworthy/No one likes you/ stop eating” kind of blahblah. If you want to get anywhere in life, you obviously have to team up with yourself. As well all know, you can be your own worst enemy. You can put yourself down without other people having a negative impact on you, you can make yourself hide in your room and cry yourself to sleep, etc. etc. etc. In the end of the day, the only person that will really stay with you forever is yourself. Not your bestfriend, or your mom, or your boyfriend, or your dog, or whoever. It’s basically just you and yourself. So why would you want to put yourself down and bring negativity to your life? (I know, quite ironical coming from someone like me. But I guess you get my point.) Why wouldn’t you want to just become a happier person overall, because you love yourself? Also, ask yourself this question: Can I expect other people to love and appreciate me if I don’t love and appreciate myself? If you don’t love yourself, who will?
5. Work harder towards my goal, stop quitting so easily, dedicate myself to my goal. I’m a quitter. I hate admitting it, but it’s true. Unfortunately. I always feel like it’s not getting me anywhere anyway, or I’m just having a lazy day or whatever. I also often half-ass things, and I don’t even know why. Because it’s not like they’re not important to me, my problem is just that I’m not working hard enough because I’m impatient and loose motivation easily. I wish I could focus more on the goal and accept that it’s going to take time and hard work.
So while writing this, I came across another very important piece of advice you definitely shouldn’t be leaving out:
6. Stop being so pessimistic about everything. I’m a pessimist, another very awful characteristic of mine. I hate it, it keeps me from actually working hard and makes life so much harder. I’m always preparing myself for the worst-case scenario, and not even thinking that the worst thing isn’t always the thing that can happen. I forget that sometimes, good things happen aswell and that there are positive aspects of my life. I just don’t see them because I take them for guranteed and focus on the bad things. That’s so annoying sometimes, it keeps me from actually trying new things and dedicating myself to my goals, because there are always thoughts like “it’s not going to get you anywhere” that creep into my head and ruin everything.
So that’s it, basically. There are obviously a lot more things you should not ignore when trying to live an overall happier and relaxing life. But from my point of view, those are the 5 (well 6) general points you should definitely try to follow. I’m trying my best, too.
And another quote I came across earlier today:
“Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” – Buddha
I guess that’s kind of self-explaining, so I’ll just leave it at that and end this post here. :) It got quite long…